Sunday, November 29, 2009


I have had one cat for 12 years now. She is a black very short tailed Manx mix. She tucks me in at night and wakes me in the morning. Her name is Booboo. I adopted her when she was barely weened from a man who found her mother abandoned in his yard. I also have a wild thing, his name is Kittyboy. I watched him for two years as he knocked around the neighborhood. He would sneak into the house at night through the pet door and take whatever food Booboo left. I always wondered why Booboo ate her food at night and not during the day LOL. One day I caught him steeling in. He had a regular routine. He ate at night and spent his days sleeping under the foundation of the house across the street. In the winter it was easy to track his comings and goings because of the tracks he left in the snow. He always checked a house nearby where his people had abandoned him. He was mean. No one could come within twelve feet of him before he ran away. Last winter someone left a trap which caught him on his front left paw. The trap was on his foot for two weeks because no one could come close enough to him to take it off. One day he was caught between the fence of my house and the neighbors and we could then take the trap off. The poor guy lost a toe in the process.
As time went by I made it a point to let him know that I was the source of his food by placing his daily ration in an enclosed patio which he could access. Kittyboy is now a lap cat at every opportunity. He still views all male humans with suspicion and Ms Booboo does not like his encroachment on her once pristine territory. He does lack manners which most domestic cats have. For instance if I want him off my lap his first instinct is to nip my hand and let me know he is not pleased.
I have made some observations regarding cat people, maybe you agree, maybe not. It seems to me that people who like to be in control will not be "cat people" as control is not really an option. A cat will do as it pleases every time. Cat people are mostly women although I have met some men who adore them. The most notable male I knew who loved cats was such an avid fan that we called him Pudders. I have rarely met a woman who did not like cats, although I think they must exist. On a trip to Italy our guide took us to a mission high in the hills. At the entrance of the mission was an older woman in a pink coat standing in the misty rain with her hand out begging for donations for her cats. I just adored that woman.


It just occurred to me that I have a very unhealthy attachment to food. Yes, we all have to have it in order to survive but how much of it and how often is always a struggle. I grew up with practically no food, really, in a third world country. My first act of larceny as a child was to kidnap a cow. I was two years old. I asked my Grannie for some milk and when she said we had none because we didn't own a cow I set my plan in action. I remembered watching cows go back and forth in front of the house each morning and evening. That evening as the cows were coming home from the pasture I cut one out of the herd, closed the gate, and once more requested the milk. When it was discovered by my god fearing Grannie what I had done there was pandemonium. The cow was happy eating all of her veggies in the garden, the only food we had, so of course there was a rush to get it out of there. Eventually my grandfather, seeing my determination, bought a goat. I only mention this because you have to understand that hunger was a major motivation factor in my life. I don't think I ever got over it despite the fact that since the age of six I was never really without adequate food.
I now find myself buying much more food than I can possibly use and end up giving it away or throwing it away or worse yet, eating it. Is there anyone else out there with these food issues? I am, quite frankly,driven to eat at every opportunity and it is some times a source of embarrassment. In other ways I am a perfectly happy person and get along well with other aspects of my life.
Why am I writing about this guilty and somewhat shameful secret? I need help. I would like for anyone with a similar food problem to write to me and let me know if they have overcome the problem and how they did it. I am now 100 lbs. over weight and if this continues I will be in a downward spiral of bad health. I can not afford nor do I want ( I think ) the lap band system as I have seen too many people gain the weight back because the issue of over eating and underlying causes is not really resolved. I have been on every diet under the sun and know my nutrition inside and out. The problem is the behavior, how do I deal with that. The only pill which worked was Phen Phen and now it is off the market and has proven (?) to be dangerous to health. When I took Phen Phen I was as hungry between meals as any normal person but just a fraction of the food I normally eat would satisfy me. It was as if my brain was adjusted somehow to not focus on food.
So. If you are out there and reading this and interested in writing, please do. Thanks for reading my ramblings.